With Fall meaning that it’s time to head back to school, it’s easy to realize that there are a lot of different types of teachers. If you’re lucky, you’ll get the cool teacher, but it’s more likely that you’ll have the nerdy teacher or the teacher who provides you with torturous amounts of homework. There’s the teacher who wants to be your best friend and the teacher you have a crush on.
There’s one kind of teacher you’re not likely to see on your first day, though — the Butt-Kicking Teacher.
Don’t worry, though, we’ve rounded up a few of our favorites, and provided links to their costumes in case you really want to make a statement this school year.
5. Professor X
School: Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, a.k.a. X-Men Headquarters
Butt-Kicking Ability: World’s Most Powerful Psychic
While other teachers may throw a pizza party for a job well done, if you graduate at the top of Professor X’s class, you get an X-Men Costume, a code name, and access to the Quinjet for all your globe-trotting needs. Perks aside, we can’t say Professor X is our favorite butt-kicking teacher. Mind-Reading Professor + Raging Hormones = Some Seriously Awkward Moments. And don’t even think about passing notes.
4. Obi-Wan Kenobi
School: Jedi Temple; Millennium Falcon
Butt-Kicking Ability: Jedi Master
Who better to teach you the ways of the Force than the guy who taught Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker? You may end up losing your marbles (or you may not!), but one thing’s for sure: when Ben Kenobi is done teaching you, you’ll be a force to be reckoned with. (See what we did there?) And though he may be a bit over-protective at times, anyone willing to hook you up with a Star Wars Costume and teach you to use a light saber is alright in our book.
School: Midtown High School; Avengers Academy; Jean Grey School for Higher Learning
Butt-Kicking Ability: Does whatever a spider can; Has better comebacks than his students
Before Peter Parker was the Amazing Spider-Man, he was a pretty amazing science student. And while he’s most known for taking pictures of himself, Peter Parker actually taught high school for a while. He’s even been known to teach a few classes at Avengers Academy and the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning. With his trademark wit, he’s surely a fun teacher—when he actually makes it to class. The guy in the Spider-Man Costume is still the same ol’ Parker, so he’ll likely be absent pretty often. Don’t sweat that lab report you forgot to do.
2. Hogwarts Staff
School: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Butt-Kicking Ability: Witchcraft; Wizardry
Alright, we can’t pick just one Hogwarts professor – To be honest, that’s just being greedy. We’d be happy just to be enrolled at Hogwarts and don that Quidditch Robe. Between Snape, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Sprout, and Flitwick, though, we’re sure to be in good hands. Heck, we’d even settle for sitting through Professor Trelawney’s class. Just please don’t stick us with Gilderoy Lockhart.
1. Indiana Jones
School: Marshall College; Barnett College
Butt-Kicking Ability: World’s toughest archaeologist; Pretty mean with a bullwhip
Who better to see at the front of class on the first day than Dr. Henry Walton Jones, Jr.? Teachers with real world experience are always the best, and no one’s got more real world experience than Indy. Not only does he go out in the field regularly as a practicing archaeologist, he apparently specializes in “things worth killing for.” We do advise against signing up for his summer internship, though. And don’t mention snakes.
You can find a dusty, old tweed jacket just about anywhere, but in the Costume Discounters inventory, there are plenty of brown leather jackets and fedoras to make you look exactly like Indiana Jones. Find costumes for all of your favorite butt-kicking teachers and impress everybody in your classroom this Halloween!