With Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension opening in theaters across the country on October 23, horror fans are forced to remember all of this film franchise’s previous installments and the horrifying memories they’ve provided. In an attempt to prepare you for the latest activities of the paranormal, Costume Discounters has decided to list the top five things learned from these iconic horror films.
Imaginary Friends Aren’t Cute
You know what makes horror movies more horrifying than they have to be? Children. Kids are great. They’re playful. They’re cute. They say the darndest things. One thing about kids that isn’t cute, though, is their imaginary friends. Because a lot of times, their friends aren’t so imaginary. So let them make real friends. Human friends.
Don’t Go Into Kitchens Alone
Doesn’t this happen in every Paranormal movie? Somebody goes into the kitchen alone, and a chair moves. Or the drawers pull out on their own. Or a mysterious sheet shows up behind you while you’re doing homework. Or a STEAK KNIFE FLIES TOWARD THE CEILING AND MISSES YOUR HEAD BY HALF AN INCH WHEN IT FALLS.
Leave Abandoned Houses Abandoned
Everybody has seen a house like this in their neighborhood; the lights are never on, there isn’t ever a car in the driveway, and nobody ever seems to go in or come out. Among the other advice we’ve taken from these movies, one important tip is that if this house exists in your neighborhood, it’s possible that a cult worships the devil inside of it.
People With Certain Names Shouldn’t Be Trusted
Specifically Toby and Katie.
Use Video Cameras Selectively
Video cameras are for dance recitals and trips to Disney World. Never in a million years should a video camera be used to record yourself sleeping. Sleeping is the one chance you get all day to be alone, unbothered, and with your own thoughts. Why do you want to ruin that by seeing what floats over your body in the dark? Correct answer: You don’t.
So, before you go see Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension, heed this advice. When you’re in the theater, be ready for some cheap thrills if you see any of these avoidable topics starting to shape. If you want to fool your friends with some paranormal pranks this Halloween, be sure to check out Costume Discounter’s extensive inventory of Ghost-Themed Props and Decorations.