Ursula has a soul, but she isn’t poor, nor does she consider herself to be unfortunate. As a matter of fact, the iconic Disney Villain worked hard for her reputation, and made it look like a piece of fishcake. She may not be Ariel’s favorite sea creature, and she certainly isn’t King Triton’s, but now it’s time to hear her side of the story. If the Sea Witch were to sit down for an interview to discuss her family, pet eels and romance, this is how Costume Discounters imagines it would go.
First, thank you for taking the time to speak today.
Why aren’t you taking a seat? Come in. Come in, my child. We mustn’t lurk in doorways. It’s rude. One might question your upbringing.
Apologies. This is my first time interviewing someone with tentacles. Let’s start by asking about your feelings after the deaths of your pets Flotsam and Jetsam.
My poor little poopsies. I was devastated! Still am! Not only were they were my most loyal servants; I considered them to be my friends. If it weren’t for that little tramp Ariel, they would still be alive!
I beg your pardon, but wasn’t it you who killed them? Ariel only pointed the trident in their direction to save Eric.
Oh, bah! We villains will always blame others for our poor unfortunate souls. Look at Scar. He blamed Mufasa’s death on his only nephew. At least I can say I never deliberately killed anyone.
But you tried to kill Eric.
But I didn’t. It’s all semantics, honey.
How about your family? In the original script for The Little Mermaid, you were the sister of King Triton. Why was that never addressed in the on-screen version of the movie?
I have my looks and my pretty face. Do you think Disney needed anymore of a backstory for me? Maleficent may have needed a new version of her tale to describe her miserable, pathetic life but I never thought it necessary. After all, the men don’t like a lot of blabber anyway. So why bore them with a long, drawn-out origin story?
And what about your sister in The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea? She seemed to be very jealous of you. How would you describe your relationship with her?
Morgana had every right to be jealous of moi. After all, I always took matters into my own tentacles. It’s no wonder our mother preferred me. After all, who is on all of the official Disney Villains merchandise? Not her. She was relegated to a direct-to-video sequel and nowhere else!
That brings me to my next question. Would you have actually gone through with marrying Prince Eric if your plan worked?
Oh dear. Sweet child, of course not. I only planned to distract him just long enough so his little mermaid wouldn’t be able to kiss him beyond her three-day deadline. Although, he would have made a charming addition to my garden. In any case, no – I may have helped that little ginger change herself for a man, but I would never be such a fool! The Sea Witch doesn’t need a man to make her happy! Does anyone? HA-HA!
For more satirical sit-downs with your favorite Disney villains, check out
Costume Discounters’ archive:
Evil Queen – Click Here
Jafar – Click Here
Maleficent – Click Here
Scar – Click Here